A Wish the Heart Makes
by skysayzrawr
Summary: A short three-chapter story. What if Buffy made a wish that allowed her to go back and tell Spike her real feelings before he died? Spuffy.
1. Wish Granted

_Another fanfic…probably not the best idea since I'm working on three others, but hey- I can multitask pretty well, if I do say so myself…and I do. Anyway, it's centered around a wish post-season-seven-Buffy makes and what happens when it gets granted by one of those crazy vengeance demons (ah, how I love 'em. Great plot devices…). Here goes nothing! Well, actually, here goes the story. Why is that even a phrase? Who cares! On with the fic. Reviews much appreciated. _

_Disclaimer: I own nothing of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, most noticeably Spike (insert wistful sigh)._

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"I still can't believe it." Giles said faintly. "I can't believe it was _Spike_ who saved the world."

"And this is why I never told you guys he and I were…" Buffy said, trailing off, unsure of exactly what it was she and Spike had been.

"Dating?" Willow piped up, rescuing Buffy.

"Yes. Kind of. Oh, I don't even know…"

The three were entering their hotel in L.A. They were getting ready to hop on a plane at L.A.X. the next day to England, then on to Rome. They needed to get a base established and decided that Europe would be the best place for it- they had a lot of new Slayers to train.

Stopping at Giles' room, Buffy and Willow waited for him to grab his wallet and jacket. Everybody was hungry and they decided to go get dinner somewhere. They'd only been in L.A. a few hours and would only be there a few hours more; they wanted to get some food while they could.

"Hey, Buffy!" Faith's voice rang throughout the hotel lobby as the three crossed it. "Wait up!"

"Oh, hey Faith. What's up? Are the new slayers okay?" Buffy replied once Faith had crossed the distance between them.

"Five-by-five." Faith grumbled. "They're actually getting really antsy,we should grab something to eat soon."

"That's what we were heading out to do, can you let the girls know to get ready?" asked Buffy.

Agreeing, Faith walked out and went to round up the new Slayers.

"So, Micky-Dee's or Taco Bell?" Willow asked Buffy. "Or something else? L.A. has _everything!" _

"Why do you think he said it?" Buffy asked.

"Uh- who said what?" Willow replied, confused.

"Spike. Why do you think he said that I didn't love him?" Buffy asked, more talking to herself than Willow. "Was it because I've always been so mean to him that he just couldn't believe I actually meant it?"

"I think perhaps Burger King would be alright. 'Have it your way' and all that." Giles interjected, trying to steer the conversation back towards dinner.

"I really wish I hadn't been such a bitch to him all this time. I wish I could have a chance to go back and tell Spike what I felt." Buffy moaned, voice low and filled with sadness.

From behind a nearby pillar in the lobby, nobody noticed a voice say, "Wish granted."


	2. I Missed You

"_I really wish I hadn't been such a bitch to him all this time. I wish I could have a chance to go back and tell Spike what I felt." Buffy moaned, voice low and filled with sadness. _

_From behind a nearby pillar in the lobby, nobody noticed a voice say, "Wish granted."_

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"_Hoaaaah." _gasped Buffy, sudden intake of breath harsh on her lungs. Looking around her in disorientation, she realized with a sickening jolt that she recognized where she was. She was in a coffin. Not just any coffin; _her_ coffin. She could never forget it as long as she lived.

Registering that her air supply was probably limited, she saw what she had to do. It had been two years since she had had to crawl out of her coffin that first time, and at least this time she wasn't dealing with the sudden absence of peace and tranquility. Gritting her teeth, she reached up and tore at the lining of it and quickly reached the wooden part. Slamming her hand through it, she made her way out of the grave, feeling distinctly vampire-like as she did so. Not being very sane the first time she'd done so, she'd never fully realized how vulnerable one was in this state and shimmied her way out quickly.

Standing up and brushing herself off, Buffy was apprehensive when she noticed she was wearing the same dress she had worn last time she had done this. The last thing she remembered was making a wish that she could go back and fix things with Spike, and the next thing she knew, here she was…_uh-oh._

Searching through her memory, Buffy was surprised to note that she had blocked out much of this night; it had been too traumatizing. Then she remembered- the town was being rampaged with demons who knew she was dead. Buffybot was probably being demolished as she sat there. Taking a moment to figure out in which direction to go, Buffy squared her shoulders and took a started forward. On second thought, she turned around and busted off a piece of her coffin for a makeshift stake and then set off again.

"Looking for me?" asked a female voice. The big demon currently trying to bust down somebody's door turned around, pleased at such an easy kill…and was promptly staked. Dusting off her hands, the Slayer turned around and walked back down the person's driveway. There were lots more demons to kill!

Making her way towards the big tower where she remembered Dawn had found her that first time, she hummed a little tune. Realizing it to be 'Walk Through the Fire' from their little musical-demon adventure later that year, Buffy smiled and mused that perhaps being back wasn't so bad after all.

Quickly arriving at the big tower that Glory had hastily constructed, she sighed with relief when she saw Dawn's figure at the foot of the tower.

"Dawn!" she yelled. "Dawnie?"

The silhouette turned slowly, hesitated for a second, then came rushing at Buffy. Being slammed into a hug by her sister, Buffy smiled as she softly rustled Dawn's hair. She had done a lot of growing up in the last two years, and now maybe she could do something better with the past. Simultaneously laughing and sobbing, Dawn stepped away a foot or so, but kept her arms around Buffy.

"I can't believe it's you! You've- well, you've been dead for six months, Buffy. I missed you." she said, voice trembling at the end, tears glistening in her eyes.

"Yeah, I think everyone's really missed you, Slayer. With the possible exception of the demons." a familiar voice said from behind Buffy. Letting go of her sister, Dawn let Buffy turn around to face Spike.

"He's been really good, Buffy, I swear! He's been taking care of me and-" Dawn stopped making excuses when she saw Buffy grab Spike. Fearful that Buffy might hurt him, she let out a small yelp.

Dawn quickly discovered that hurting him seemed to be far from her sister's mind. Only breaking away from their passionate kiss when she needed air, Buffy looked Spike dead in the eye.

"I love you." she said, point-blank. Spike was frozen.

"You- I mean, you- what?" he stuttered. Tightening her grip on him, Buffy put her head on his shoulder and sighed.

"I missed you, Spike. So much, even after just a little while- I can't live without you, I love you." Suddenly, as if a dam had burst, she sighed in relief. "I love you, I love you, I _love_ you. Even without your soul."

"Erm…my soul?" Spike asked, unable to even think about the other things spilling from Buffy's mouth. "Who said anything about my soul? I don't wanna be a big broody pouf like you-know-who."

"Oh, Spike." Buffy said, laughing. "You don't even know! Well, I can tell you that you are nothing like Angel with your soul. You are the most wonderful, amazing man I've ever met and I want to love you forever."

Hugging him tighter, she exhaled deeply.

"Ah, I missed you so much. You and your bleached hair, and your coat, and hell- even your cigarettes." she said, and she knew how much she meant these things. She had pushed away all her feelings for him in the past, and she would die before she did it again. Bewildered, Spike looked into her eyes and saw her certainty.

"I- I love you, too, pet." he said, closing his eyes. "I've missed you, too. So, so much. And- god, how I've waited to hear those words from you."

"Hmmn, if you only knew." Buffy murmured, thinking about the two years that had yet to occur.

Dawn looked on, thoroughly confused. She looked around and saw the gang run into the parking lot, apparently having caught sight of Buffy. Brought up short by seeing her in Spike's arms, they sat silent for a moment, until Buffy reached up and kissed him again.

"Willow, what did you _d__o_? You brought her back wrong!" Xander hissed. "It's just like last time!"

Hearing Xander's referance to Willow's will-be-done spell gone awry, the tips of her ears and her cheeks blushed red.

"I don't think I did this, Xander." Willow said, unsure as to what had happened.

"Hey," Buffy said to Xander, Anya, Tara and Willow. "I think we all need to talk…"


	3. What Aren't You Telling Me?

"_I really wish I hadn't been such a bitch to him all this time. I wish I could have a chance to go back and tell Spike what I felt." Buffy moaned, voice low and filled with sadness. _

_From behind a nearby pillar in the lobby, nobody noticed a voice say, "Wish granted." _

"_I missed you, Spike. So much, even after just a little while- I can't live without you, I love you." Suddenly, as if a dam had burst, she sighed in relief. "I love you, I love you, I love you."_

"_Hey," Buffy said to Xander, Anya, Tara and Willow. "I think we all need to talk…"_

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"Wow." Xander said, dumbfounded.

"I second that." declared Willow, voice a little faint.

"Oh my…" Giles murmured.

"Big deal." Anya stated flatly.

"Hulghp." Dawn said. Words had formed in her mouth, but her tongue had gotten in the way.

"Well, I think that's just amazing." Tara said, the only one of the bunch who both cared and was sufficiently coherent.

Spike didn't say anything, whether because he didn't know what to say, or couldn't say it.

"Yeah." Buffy sighed. It had taken a long time and her throat was very sore, but she had told everybody what happened, right up to the hotel where she had made the wish. Spike was completely shocked- and not much could shock him.

"Buffy, maybe it's best if we let them sleep on it." Tara said after no one replied to her. "It's pretty late."

"Yeah, okay." Buffy rumbled, voice coming out slightly distorted on her raw vocal chords. One by one, everybody left. Even Dawn went up the stairs to her room quietly.

Spike went out onto the porch and lit a cigarette, staring out into the night. He heard the door close and felt Buffy next to him.

"Even missed these did you, chit?" he asked, waving the pack of smokes in the air. Buffy's nose crinkled.

"Well, maybe I exaggerated a bit." she admitted. Spike turned to face her.

"What aren't you telling me, Slayer? Why did I go out and get my soul back? I'm not the kind of guy to go out and do that all willy-nilly, like." he stared into her reluctant eyes. "What did you leave out?"

Looking away from him, she answered almost as if in a trance.

"You- well, it's hard to explain." she said softly.

"Try." came Spike's response.

"Well, we were…involved. I was coming to you for a good time and I felt really guilty, using you that way. I knew you loved me, and I knew I didn't love you back. Or at least, I wouldn't let myself. So, I broke things off with you." she became silent for a moment, and when she spoke again, her voice was only a rough whisper. "You didn't like that. I think that somehow, you convinced yourself that if we were…together again, I would realize I loved you. You- you tried to get us together again, in my bathroom. I was able to get you to stop, and I don't think I could have hated you more than you hated yourself after that."

"I…tried to-" Spike asked, voice low and disbelieving. Yet he knew it was true, could feel the demon in him pumping away with excitement even at the story.

"Yeah. And after that, I didn't see you again for a while. Not until you were back with your soul…and I saw what you did for me. You know, you leaned against a giant cross, hoping that the pain from it would diminish the guilt you had. It scared me, to tell you the truth, but it let me trust you again. We grew into friends of a sort after that. I knew you loved me, but you never pushed me any further than I would allow." Buffy's voice grew stronger again. "Right before you died, I told you I loved you. You told me I didn't, and to leave. Well, I left, and I think it was one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made. That's why I made that wish, the one that brought me back."

"I'm sorry, Buffy. I'm- I'm so sorry…" Spike choked out, still disgusted with himself. Buffy turned towards him and put a hand on his cheek.

"Shh, shh. I told you, all's forgiven. Besides, you never actually did anything." she said, voice full of conviction. "I love you and I know that you'd never do it again."

"But how can you know?" Spike said, voice low. "If it happened once-"

"Spike." Buffy said, cutting him off. "There's no way to force someone who would go willingly."

Looking into her eyes and seeing that she meant it, Spike wrapped his arms around Buffy, being comforted as much as giving comfort. Reaching up and tilting her head, Buffy's lips met Spike's in a tender kiss.

"I love you." she said again, revelling in being able to say it to him.

"I love you, too." he said, just as pleased to say it back.

For once in her life, Buffy was happy she hadn't killed a demon before it could grant a wish.

THE END.


End file.
